Being Prepared is Important

DISCLAIMER: There are no pictures this week, which makes me sad cuz that's my favorite. I didn't really know how to depict this, and everything I could think of just seemed racist....

Hey folks. Did you guys ever have a creep? Of course you did. You know that guy/gal who stared relentlessly at you, and made you feel like you needed an adult? I think most of us go through something like this eventually, so if you haven't had your creep, don't worry you will get one!

So there is this guy in my Statistics class who creeps on me all the time. It's incredibly annoying, and he is very blatant about it. Most of the things he does are just incredibly annoying over all. He is just the kind of person who gets under my skin.

Firstly, he laughs at EVERYTHING. And, when I say laugh, I mean he just belly laughs and has a good time. The joke wont even be funny, and he is practically on the ground. Now, before you all go "Wow you're a really big bitch", I don't give two shits if he laughs. Good for you, Sir. I'm glad you think every damn thing is so funny, that you're seconds away from peeing your pants. I only wish to be that joyous and positive. What gets me is that he STARES at me while he's laughing. It's like he is inviting me to laugh at the joke, which isn't funny. Fuck me, he just stares. I almost half expect him to get up and shake me so I'll laugh my ass off too. At that point I would be karate chopping his neck, so I'm glad he doesn't go to the extreme.

Broham is always late! I mean, everyday, and even late to the tests. You would think that this being an accelerated semester that you would do what you could to get there one time, but he is always the last one to 'gangsta' walk' into the class.

He is never prepared. I mean never. Our instructor even let him borrow her book for the month, and he NEVER brings it to class. I know that most classes I take do not require me to buy a book, and use it religiously, but this is math. Every math class I have ever had to take require that we use the book on an almost daily basis. He even leans over close to my desk when the instructor prompts us to get our books out. HE DOESN'T EVEN ASK! Home boy just gets all up in my personal space, practically on top of me he's leaning so hard for one problem in the book. How do we solve this? Be responsible, and bring you shit like everyone else, dude. He never brings a calculator either. Again, math requires a calculator on a daily basis. Plain and simple.

He drives me nuts just sitting around not doing jack shit. Why even take the class, if you're not going to do anything? Why waste your money? Why?

So, now that I've built this guy up for you, let me get to the fun part of the story.

In class, our lovely teacher told us to turn to a certain page and also said "If you do not have your book with you, get a partner." GUESS WHO WAS MY DAMN PARTNER?! Anyway, he scooted his desk over, after asking me if he could share my book. I am glad that he asked this time. I was thinking he could be turning over a new leaf.

You know. There are reasons why I am fairly pessimistic, and this kid is one of those reasons. Immediately he starts asking me how I'm doing in the class, and mentioning how bad his test grades are. Of course I'm thinking, "No duh, dip-shit. You never do anything while you're here." So then he asks me something I hoped he would never ask me. He wants to do a study date... Oh Dear Lord help me....

I immediately start trying to keep this from happening by mentioning that I have a class after this (Which technically I do, but it's 3 hours after stats. He doesn't have to know that shit, though.), but he just counters with, "It can be any time after". He doesn't care. He then asks me if I work, and I tell him I do, because I do. Then I mention that it's full time, and I'm very busy. He counters with the same thing. As a side note... On days I work and go to school. I am up and out of my house for 18+ hours. I don't have time. Ever.

Ugh, then he starts prying in to my life. "Where do you work?" "When do you get off?" "Are you familiar with TTU campus?" Anyway, it was just really annoying and pushy. Now, if he didn't already creep me out, and was trying all the he could do to try and pass this class I might just have some empathy. I could understand that, because that's what I'm doing. He's not doing what he should be doing, and you would think that he would change up his game in order to help himself out. That, and if you push me I will push you back. Don't ask me about my whole life. That's weird. I don't know you, and I'm not going to tell you all my personal business in one conversation. You don't even know my name.

To conclude this awkward shit.... I just stopped talking. Hahaha it's probably not fool proof, but it helped me in my time of need. I litereally just stopped talking at all what-so-ever. Then, eventually, he just scooted his desk back, because he wasn't working at all. He was just trying to get me alone. I should have screamed "I love my boyfriend!" That probably would have scared the shit out of him, while giving him some important information at the same time. I'm not interested.

Anyway, the moral of the story is... If you want me to pity you, at least be prepared and fucking pretend like you're trying. I don't feel bad for people who fuck around on their phone for the entire length of class and them make 50's on the test. Grow up. This is life. It doesn't wait for you to catch up.

Moral #2: I love my boyfriend. I'm not interested in what you're selling. I get it fo' free. Also, he's hot.... :)

Oops... I lied: Vlog

So, I know I mentioned before on my FB page Bekah the Blogger? that I was going to talk about a rather sobering topic, but after writing it in the midst of my emotion filled rampage, then sitting on it for the better part of a week I decided I wouldn't. It's got a lot of personal stuff in it, and I'm not sure that this is the time or the place to share that stuff. So, anyway I'm going to talk about something much more indifferent instead!

Anyway, for those of you living in west texas, or basically any semi-desert/desert areas know that we do not get a lot of rain. In fact, when it rains we rejoice, and our car accident statistics go up 100%. So, all in all, we're kind of like cats. Water if fine, but don't get us in it. We clearly don't know how to handle that kind of anxiety.

Go home car. You're drunk.

So for those of you who know me, know that I've already had TWO different leaks in my ceiling of my apartment. Now, those of you who don't know that, do. Congratulations. Our house got soaking wet, a week or two ago. This rain however, was not just rain, it was mud-rain, which is so incredibly disgusting. I had one leak over my bed, which I found out as I was getting into bed to go to sleep. Oh I'm sorry, you were tired? Well, guess what, you can't sleep here! The second one was in my kitchen cabinets, rendering all the things I love to eat off of and drink from covered in a yummy brown filth.

Drink me! I look chocolate flavored!*

 So anywho, it rained again on Monday. I was in my bathroom washing my work pants. Don't judge me. I ran out of time, and I don't dry them anyway. I have "legs growing out of my ears" as my Step-Father puts it, so I just let them hang dry. I'm getting off topic, but I noticed that there was another leak in our bathroom. Let me tell you, that was fan-fucking-tastic in the way that getting mauled by a bear is fan-fucking-tactic. So... I recorded it... First Vlog ever. Enjoy.

My boyfran thinks that I sound "really cool" recorded, but I honestly just think my voice is manly. Whatever. It's not about that. It's about the leak. You guys see that shit? Not cool, Dude.

We have a pretty sick nasty maintenance man though, because he came by to check on us, and we got to tell him about the new leak! He knocked like the police though, and trust me when I say, I have never run away so fast in my life. It must be a minority thing, but he scared the absolute shit out of me. It doesn't help that the dog is having a panic attack, and is screaming at the front door. So much chaos....

So there you have it! What did we learn today, kiddies?

Rain is fine.
Driving in rain is not fine.
Rain in the house is really not fine.

*As a side note. Don't ever Google "Dirty Water" it just gives you pictures of African Children, and Celene Dion starts singing.

My Dog: Sir Nugginton Von Hat

Alright, I haven't talked much about my life, aside from reiterating the lack of funds I have ALL THE DAMN TIME.

My hair doesn't look like this. I cut that shit off.

However, I have the most awesome dog so I'm going to gush about him. He is fantastic. If you don't think my dog is cool, well eff you. I didn't ask your opinion, and I don't think your stupid dog is cool. So there. Feel better about yourself?

The Best dog face ever.

My dog's name is Nugget. Everyone thinks it's so funny, but I like silly names for dogs. The thing that disturbs me is dogs that have people names, which is why I think my brother's dog should have been named Cereal like my nephew wanted, not Thomas.

Suave Mother Fucker. He's between 1 and 2 here.

Anyway, I've had my dog for almost six years. I got him when he was six weeks old, and he weighed about 5.5lbs. Holy shit he was the cutest thing ever, and I cherished him since I had to write a research paper in order to get him. My parents don't fuck around, and my mom refused to take care of a dog. A RESEARCH PAPER! I also had to give an oral report to them. I REALLY wanted a freaking dog. Anyway, he was my big Christmas present that year. Best. Christmas. Ever.

He was so little back then!

Now before I get into the happily ever after part of this story, let me just say my dog can be a pain in the ass. He is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and like most working class dogs he is smart. He is too smart for his own good, and he tests the boundaries of my patience on a daily basis.

The smile of a menace! Sorry about all the shit in the background. This was before I knew how to be domestic.

 My Taller lankier (skinny ass) half, and I do not walk Nugget on a leash, and so sometimes he's prone to running off. You'd think we'd be less lazy and just leash him, but most of the time he's pretty good about staying close. You can always tell he's going to sneak away, because he either gets this sly look on his face, or he gets really excited and just runs around like the best thing ever just happened to him. Either way, it's hella annoying. Luckily he's not hard to chase down, after all, he's working with stubby legs and too much body.

You wouldn't think that would run away, oh but you would be wrong.

He will try to sneak food, paper, dryer lint, cat food, or whatever the hell else he can get his mouth around. I am grateful that we do not have to deal with counter surfing, otherwise we'd never have food to eat. The best part about the food sneaking, is my dog has a terribly sensitive stomach so I end up having to clean up after his ass anyway. The temptation of eating greatly outweighs the vomiting, apparently. This concept is beyond me.

He was in time out. This is his sad face.

Another thing is... He barks. Don't ever get a corgi if you want a quiet household. They are known for their vocal personalities, and he makes noise all the time. This is bitter sweet thought, because he will let us know if he REALLY has to potty, which is nice and cuts down on inside accidents. Anything that happens bathroom wise in my house is our fault, because chances are, he warned us already. Now, that may be nice, but he barks if anyone knocks on the door, and I mean anyone, even me. Any loud noise gets a warning bark, and sometimes he just barks at you if you're standing there. We have a 'quiet' command in place, but it's not always helpful. If you get on to him about being loud, he will still bark, but he will do it quieter and sneakily. It's kind of funny, because it's still a bark, and you still hear it, but he thinks he's getting away with it. Dog logic.

Alert! Shit got real, but there was nobody at the door.

The cool part about having my dog, is he is always happy. All the time. He screams bloody murder when I get home from school/work. He is just so thrilled to see me. His whole entire body shakes with excitement, and he just cant wait for you to sit down, so he can wiggle all around in your lap and tell you about his day.

"I really love you."

He's also fun to make nick names for. I call him anything from Nug Hat, to Sailboat, to Dr. Man-Hat-Man (a spin off Dr. Manhattan for my Watchmen lovers). Of course, he loves that you acknowledge his presence, and like most dogs he will come to anything you call him if you say it sweetly enough.

Boyfriend likes to put socks on his body... Lol

He also has a personality and a half. He loves cats, and some other dogs, but he is very picky about dog friends. He also isn't a fan of Tavi (The ferret), and follows him around anytime he's loose in the house. I tell Nugget that he's too bossy, and needs to worry about himself.

Once upon a time, they were kind of two peas in a pod.

 He can be incredibly playful, and loves to play fetch. He can also occupy himself which can be nice sometimes when you don't want to play. He'll throw his toy himself, and try to catch it. Most of the time though, he's just lazy. He probably sleeps to much (which is why he's overweight I'm sure), but I just let him, because I'm just as lazy.

"I'm too tired to hold my head up. That's what the wall is for."

Anyway, at the end of the day he's the best cuddly puppy ever, and now you know a teensy bit about my life.

Dog Photo Bomb.

Mini Blackberry Pies

Okay, so I know I said I was going to have a recipe this week, and I'm not going to disappoint. I'm warning you now though, I am not a Rachele Ray cook. I mess around in my kitchen, improvise, and don't follow direction (Unless baking which I don't do often anyway). I'm not a chef of some high degree. I just like to cook, so I can't promise you that this recipe will have measurements, because I don't measure a damn thing unless you count "three glugs of milk" as a measurement.... Didn't fucking think so.

You think I'm kidding...

As a side note... I'm typing this blog on my community college campus during my Summer I course, and let me just mention how incredibly awkward it is. This place is a ghost town save for the few students walking by, and everyone is staring at me as they pass by. It makes me uncomfortable, because I'm kind of shy. Plus, nobody here carries a laptop around, so I probably look like some bad ass. I'm really just trying to pass the time, because I have a three hour gap between classes and I'd much rather use up the battery on this than on my phone.

So without further delay.... Motha' effing pie time!

I got the idea to try this out after I had eaten a delicious blackberry cobber that Cracker Barrel has. There are not enough word enhancing swears that I know to describe how incredibly awesome that cobbler was. If there was a food shortage, and they were giving away some of that shit to whoever could win an Olympian competition I would slaughter everyone for a piece of that cobbler. I don't mess around when it comes to eating. I also like it, because it's not too sweet, and not too tart. I don't have a big sweet tooth, so it's perfect for me!

Anyway, I decided to do a mini version, because if I made whole cobbler it would just go bad. These are prefect for one, a party, a cheater snack on your diet, or even a lovely duet after dinner dessert (which is what I do, because I love my boyfriend).

These are the pie crusts I bought! They're so cute.

So anyway, you need some ingredients!

Software:
Mini Pie Crusts (Or one large one. I don't care it's your pie.)
Frozen Blackberries (Or berries of your choice. Again, I don't care. It's your freaking pie.)
Sugar
Flour
Butter
Vanilla Ice Cream (Optional, but you're not human if you don't want that)

Hardware:
Cookie Sheet
Fork
2 Bowls (They don't need to be big. They just need to be bowl-like.)

Now more than likely you're pie crust needs to thaw (at least the ones I buy do) so set that shit out on the counter before you start prepping everything else. I set my berries out too, because they're basically just a giant blackberry rock and you cant do anything with them. So take about twenty minutes to fart around the house, Facebook creep, or whatever the hell else you do.

Look it's thawing... So exciting...

 Preheat your oven. I put mine on 350.

When your berries have thawed enough, dump some of them in a bowl. I just eye ball it. Then you'll want to sprinkle some sugar and flour on top of them, and mix it until the berries are coated. I put a little extra sugar on mine, because blackberries can be kind of tart. Also, the flour will act as thickener when you bake your pies so you have that lovely gooey texture.

I know it looks kinda gross, but I promise the results are worth it.

Then you're going to scoop them into your pie crusts. Don't freak out if they look like they're going to topple over. You want them to look a little fuller, because they will turn into mush in the the oven.

Now we're going to make a topping for your cobbler. This part is optional, but I think it adds flavor, so if you don't want to do you it you don't have to. I take a 1/2 - 1 tablespoon of COLD butter, the same amount of flour, and a little sugar (optional again especially if you felt like you over sugared your berries). You want to take a fork, and cut the butter into your other ingredients. If it gets kind of melty, then put it back in your fridge. You want you butter to be cold, yo.

Mmmmm lice.... :>

Then when you have it all smashed together, sprinkle it all over the top of your pies.

Y'all like my fancy angle? That's about all the photography skills I have.

Oh shit son, it's time to bake! So shove those bad boys in your oven, and go occupy yourself. I check on mine about 15-20 minutes in. Obviously, my oven is not as swanky as yours so you may have to adjust the times slightly. I just look for a golden brown crust, and then I pull them out to cool.

Om-fucking-nom.

 After that, dump some funderful vanilla ice cream on top of it, and live your life as the happiest mini pie eater on the planet. Well.... Until your pie is gone. 

So, there you have it. Pie. The End.