Mini Blackberry Pies

Okay, so I know I said I was going to have a recipe this week, and I'm not going to disappoint. I'm warning you now though, I am not a Rachele Ray cook. I mess around in my kitchen, improvise, and don't follow direction (Unless baking which I don't do often anyway). I'm not a chef of some high degree. I just like to cook, so I can't promise you that this recipe will have measurements, because I don't measure a damn thing unless you count "three glugs of milk" as a measurement.... Didn't fucking think so.

You think I'm kidding...

As a side note... I'm typing this blog on my community college campus during my Summer I course, and let me just mention how incredibly awkward it is. This place is a ghost town save for the few students walking by, and everyone is staring at me as they pass by. It makes me uncomfortable, because I'm kind of shy. Plus, nobody here carries a laptop around, so I probably look like some bad ass. I'm really just trying to pass the time, because I have a three hour gap between classes and I'd much rather use up the battery on this than on my phone.

So without further delay.... Motha' effing pie time!

I got the idea to try this out after I had eaten a delicious blackberry cobber that Cracker Barrel has. There are not enough word enhancing swears that I know to describe how incredibly awesome that cobbler was. If there was a food shortage, and they were giving away some of that shit to whoever could win an Olympian competition I would slaughter everyone for a piece of that cobbler. I don't mess around when it comes to eating. I also like it, because it's not too sweet, and not too tart. I don't have a big sweet tooth, so it's perfect for me!

Anyway, I decided to do a mini version, because if I made whole cobbler it would just go bad. These are prefect for one, a party, a cheater snack on your diet, or even a lovely duet after dinner dessert (which is what I do, because I love my boyfriend).

These are the pie crusts I bought! They're so cute.

So anyway, you need some ingredients!

Software:
Mini Pie Crusts (Or one large one. I don't care it's your pie.)
Frozen Blackberries (Or berries of your choice. Again, I don't care. It's your freaking pie.)
Sugar
Flour
Butter
Vanilla Ice Cream (Optional, but you're not human if you don't want that)

Hardware:
Cookie Sheet
Fork
2 Bowls (They don't need to be big. They just need to be bowl-like.)

Now more than likely you're pie crust needs to thaw (at least the ones I buy do) so set that shit out on the counter before you start prepping everything else. I set my berries out too, because they're basically just a giant blackberry rock and you cant do anything with them. So take about twenty minutes to fart around the house, Facebook creep, or whatever the hell else you do.

Look it's thawing... So exciting...

 Preheat your oven. I put mine on 350.

When your berries have thawed enough, dump some of them in a bowl. I just eye ball it. Then you'll want to sprinkle some sugar and flour on top of them, and mix it until the berries are coated. I put a little extra sugar on mine, because blackberries can be kind of tart. Also, the flour will act as thickener when you bake your pies so you have that lovely gooey texture.

I know it looks kinda gross, but I promise the results are worth it.

Then you're going to scoop them into your pie crusts. Don't freak out if they look like they're going to topple over. You want them to look a little fuller, because they will turn into mush in the the oven.

Now we're going to make a topping for your cobbler. This part is optional, but I think it adds flavor, so if you don't want to do you it you don't have to. I take a 1/2 - 1 tablespoon of COLD butter, the same amount of flour, and a little sugar (optional again especially if you felt like you over sugared your berries). You want to take a fork, and cut the butter into your other ingredients. If it gets kind of melty, then put it back in your fridge. You want you butter to be cold, yo.

Mmmmm lice.... :>

Then when you have it all smashed together, sprinkle it all over the top of your pies.

Y'all like my fancy angle? That's about all the photography skills I have.

Oh shit son, it's time to bake! So shove those bad boys in your oven, and go occupy yourself. I check on mine about 15-20 minutes in. Obviously, my oven is not as swanky as yours so you may have to adjust the times slightly. I just look for a golden brown crust, and then I pull them out to cool.

Om-fucking-nom.

 After that, dump some funderful vanilla ice cream on top of it, and live your life as the happiest mini pie eater on the planet. Well.... Until your pie is gone. 

So, there you have it. Pie. The End.