Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

I was going to do a True Blood post, but I figured since my last blog was about Supernatural I'd leave it alone for now.

This week I was going to talk about myself is a sort of analyzed way. I don't really know if that makes sense, but I've been spending a lot of time with my thoughts, and so I was just going to write about it.

Let me just say that whole "You're your own worst enemy" is something that plagues my life on the daily, and not that it's a bad thing all the time but I am very hard on myself. I have always been, and I'm sure I will always be this way. It is ultimately who I am. I am forgiving to other's should they warrant it, but I am quick to anger and slow to forget. My maturity on any given day seems to change with the seasons. I am weird. There is no way around it.

Physically I am not happy with myself, but I've realized that this is something I need to change. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to start training for marathons, but  healthy exercise is something I probably should look into. I have always thought of myself as plain. Plain Jane. I refer back to it in my taste for simple foods, and in the way I dress. I don't wear makeup, which is a choice I made. All in all I wish a had a better mental state when it comes to myself. Obviously, I don't think I'm ugly so that's a plus, but I'm not the next Iman and I don't want to be. I'm just average.

But those thoughts really don't mean a whole lot by themselves. If anything, they make me look like a really insecure person with poor self-esteem. Don't get me wrong, I probably am those things to an extent, but I'm sure everyone is at one point in their life or another. It's human nature to want to be liked and loved, and so we worry about shit that's not worth fretting over. So where do my strengths lie? What gives me peace of mind, and what makes me happy? Where is my contentment if I'm just a ball of "I don't know what I'm doing with my life" turmoil?

Cooking. I love cooking. There is something so serene about cooking, and there is fulfillment in feeding others. I realized this on Monday night when I was trying out a new recipe, and somehow it managed to come out looking perfect. Most of what I make is stick-to-your-ribs, southern style comforts. It's not always pretty, but it sure is delicious! Anyway, I just stared at my dish. It was lovely. Did I do that? Did I manage to make something that looked so beautiful, but would also be satisfying to the stomach? I was in awe of the feeling that washed over me, and I thought "Wow this is for me". I don't mean it as I'm quitting school and running away to chase my culinary dreams, but I love this skill that I have. Plus, it's a good skill set. I can fend for myself, and provide meals for a family. There is no downside to love to cook.

The picture doesn't do it justice.....

The best part of cooking is the love. The love that goes into cooking is what makes things successful. I don't care who you are and what you think you know, but food that is made with love is real and it's the best! I'm sure it was what I was feeling while looking at my dish. All of the love poured into it was staring at me, and it was perfect.

I'm sure that didn't make any sense at all, but thanks for reading my ramblings....

Until next time~