Let's talk about The Conjuring

Spoilers are here! Proceed at your own risk!

Hey guys!

It's been some time since I've done a movie critic, and since I'm just sitting on my ass on my day off I'll go ahead and do another one. I really just don't want to pick up dog poop or go and price computers....

Anyway, the boy and I watched The Conjuring on Monday, but only because my source told me it was worth watching. I already wanted to see it, because I'm a horror film fanatic, but getting my boyfriend on board is a whole different story. He doesn't really care for horror movies, which makes me sad. This is the one instance where I will say he is too much of a realist. He doesn't allow himself to get caught up in the whimsy. I digress, this is not about him.

This part freaked me the fuck out.

 I liked the movie. I thought it was good, and exorcism movies happen to be my favorite. I'm not sure why. They just are. We watched The Possession when that came out, and it was absolutely awful, so I think we were both a little skeptical about watching another new age horror flick.

So The Conjuring is based on a a true story about two families, one who is haunted by a demonic spirit, and one family who seeks to help them. The Perron's are just an average American family who has to live through these trials, and the Warren's are a Supernatural Investigator dynamic duo who seek to help the Perron's in their time of need. All hell breaks loose, of course, and an exorcism is performed.

These are the ACTUAL Perron daughters, and of course the little actresses underneath.

The one thing that I think was a good idea in this one was the fact that the entity haunting them was not a demon, but a Satan worshiping witch who haunted the land after she died. It sort of gave a new spin on just your normal haunting.

The suspense was built up well too. I think that is one of the reasons I love exorcism movies so much. Not everything happens at once, and it is a slow agonizing climb to the climax. It starts with something as simple as the clock stopping, and a weird smell, until BAM you're right smack in the middle of a full on possession with creepy laughing and speaking in tongues.

You have to help her! She's so ugly I had to cover her with a sheet!

So let's talk about Bathsheba, the antagonist, and one hell of a hag. Can I just say I do not like hag costumes, an I do not like Asians as scary movie protagonists. They scare me. That's right. I said it. They fucking scare me, so it stands to reason that Bathsheba scared the piss out of me. She's not even that scary, but I hate hags. Bleck.  They always portray her with blood around her mouth, or maybe I just imagined it there, but that shit is gross! It made her look like she didn't have any lips, and it was just her teeth sticking out there. Those kinds of make-ups make me uneasy, like, who ripped you lips off, girl?

I didn't feel the need to Google beyond this. Wanna see her? Go watch the movie.

 I really enjoyed the Warren's! I though the actors did very well, and I really enjoyed the back story you get on them. I especially loved when they talked about Annabelle. The doll was fucking creepy as shit. I thought it was perfect. I also really enjoyed the Paranormal Artifacts rooms they have in their house in the film. I think they do have an actual museum, but I'm not sure if it was in their house. I think it really makes them look like they know what they're doing, or at least they think they know what they are doing.

The real Annabelle doll is actually a Raggity Anna, but this porcelain bitch is scary.

I really enjoyed the fact that the Warren's also had to deal with Bathsheba at their house hold until they had actually cast her from the world. That was definitely insane. You don't think of the spirit traveling from house hold to house hold to harass someone. I think it tied in the Annabelle story, and the infatuation their daughter had with the doll as well. It sort of came full circle there as far as how the Warren's family is affected by the kind of work they do.

Remember her? From Bates Motel. Hell yeah!

I just think over all they really tried to put a new spin on something that has been done over and over again, and I applaud their creativity.

The eldest Perron daughter - Andrea I believe her name is - wrote a three part series about their time in the house. I'm thinking about buying and reading that as well.

This was less of a critic, and more of a "Read how I feel about this" blog. Sorry I'm not sorry!

If you like "Based on true story" movies like this, you should totally see it. I was reading about the actual haunting. Some of the things are not actuate, but the Perron's really back the projection of the movie, and they even liked how it came out!