Miss Maisey: The Non-Dog

Hey guysies! I don't really have any fodder for the blog this week, so I'll just kind of ramble about something and maybe it will be funny....

Anyway, some of you know, and some of you don't, I was house sitting last week. It was a lot of fun, in fact, I wish the house I was staying in was my actual house. My apartment sucks guys. It's just awful.

I love puppiesssssss!!!!

Anyway, the best part about house sitting was keeping up with the dogs. Which means, my dog, and my boy's grandparents dog, Maisey. Mostly my house sitting dog stories have to do with Maisey, because she is fucking weird. She's the weirdest dog I've ever been around, and sometimes I'm not so sure she's actually a dog... She reminds me of Gollum from Lord of The Rings. It doesn't help that she's half blind, and will eat anything she can get into....

My precious.... foooood.

Maisey ate:

• Steak fingers
• Toast
• Half of a Ruben Sanwhich
• Half of a BLT
• Pistachios
• French Fries
• Dog poop
• Kleenex brand tissues

She also tried to eat some Chinese Kitchen while I was literally standing a few feet away from her. I scolded her, and she took her lashing like a man.

The other thing about Maisey is that she will let you know when it is breakfast or dinner time. When she gets up in the morning she crawls ALL OVER you face. YOUR FUCKING FACE! It's annoying, and I don't need dog nipples all over my face. Ew.... Just ew.

Always Hungry.... ALWAYS

Then, at dinner time she freaking shrieks at you until you feed her. She's not supposed to eat until 6 p.m, but at four o'clock she's hounding you to feed her. She barks and follows you relentlessly. Anything you have in your hand she tried to eat, even if it's nothing.

She's also really silly, becuase she doesn;t like to play with dogs. She likes to play by herself. It's almost like she's got Aspergers Syndrome. She can entertain herself easily, but when my dog comes to play with her she gets really confused. It's really funny, because she gets this "What are you doing here?" look. She doesn't need him! She's fine by herself. It's hysterical.

"Help me. I'm poor."

 Maisey likes to roll. She rolls a lot, and it never starts out as a full body roll. It's more of this weird, smash your head into the floor, then scoot it until your body is down, then drag your body across the floor kind of roll. It's just as hysterical as her playing by herself. And, she'll do it for ten minutes, or she'll do it for short periods of time frequently. My boy's nana had to water the grass one summer to keep her from rolling on it, because she was killing it.

She's just a silly freaking dog. She's worth meeting. Little goof ball. She runs into me legs and feet constantly, because she can't see. It's precious, because it's sad, and it gives you the giggles so crazy.

I love her, secretly....